I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
