well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
