There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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