the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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