I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
