...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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