I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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