just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
