I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
