Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
