I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
