What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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