ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
