By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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