Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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