bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
