She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
