Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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