I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
only if we run a train.
done.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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