we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
