yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
