I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
