that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
