We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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