her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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