People with herpes should wear stickers.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
