I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
