I only kidnapped one of them. chill
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
