just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
