I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
