You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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