Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
