Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
