laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
