So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
