Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
