just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
