I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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