:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
