I love black thongs
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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