You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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