My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
