Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
