No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
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