If that was your dad, he is hot
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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