i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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