like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
