we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
