Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
