she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
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