I need help removing her.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He passed out mid-signature
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
